Bughum Exhorts His Beloved In A Letter (Unsent)

Always dear,

Sudden jerks and jolts reach significance. And there is all the beauty before destruction. My primal fear is your primal fear. But you and I scare different. There was a thing I sought and found in your absence, which you will never know about. And that’s pretty much the only thing you have missed. I have been as ordinary as I was. And though I have always been on the cusp of a personal revolution, I know the ordinariness of the utopia afterwards.

The world is too big to register minor differences of ours that seem so untenable to you and me. The world is too big to entertain small talks about weather or our future. The world sees us as we see ourselves in a dream – shorn of body and plausibility. The world is a tragedy written with you and me and regardless of the terrible conclusion, a substantial part still remains unplayed. People are watching. Will you come on stage?

At any point the linear distance between you and me, front and back, is the circumference of the entire world. Even when you kiss me our backs are an entire earth apart. So, so much for proximity. Lets not talk then about it. I am a constant feature in all your dreams and this is a comforting thought. Ideas, dreams, dogmas, and prejudices are a more close and compact unit than our bodies. Fanaticism is not the solution, but it does for a seeming one. Come and be a part of my organization. I would write to you a pamphlet and shower you with slogans and there would be news in the air. We would have so much visible fun. Though, do not bring scrupules. We will have language provide the morals.

The river has us almost falling. The bridges bridge our need to bridge. A very physical world waits for our return and we have a profound feeling that we have fucked up. Haven’t we? Reflections have a knack of being apparent. Yet there is some truth. Some truth in the mere act of reflection. Some truth in action – some truth in a body in action. Sharpest noses are usually the smallest. I leave it to you to find the larger significance of this unverified fact. Today, I have shared a lot of my soul with you. I expect you to do the same. Do you have a soul?

Always yours,


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